The group of 3 football players hesitantly approached the boy who was sitting in a corner of the middle school cafeteria all by himself. They asked if they could sit with him and barely lifting his face from his lunch and his phone he indicated with the shaking of his head he would rather they didn’t. So, they walked away but quickly gathered themselves and remembered the words of their coach.

The entire middle school had been awarded “free lunch seating” as a reward for the victorious defeat of their two biggest rivals in boys’ football and girls’ volleyball. This was a welcome respite from the usual “sit in the next available seat regardless of who else is sitting at the same table” lunchroom routine. The football coach had called the team aside and told them he was glad to award them with free seating but the thing he didn’t like about it was that some kids ended up eating lunch alone.  So, he strongly encouraged the team to make sure no kid ended up eating by themselves or their might be some repercussions during football practice.  Needless to say, the boys were determined to make sure no one ended up eating alone. They divided up into groups of three to four and spread out across the cafeteria sitting with those who had isolated themselves from their peers.

Recalling their coach’s motivational speech, the group returned to the boy who was eating by himself in the corner of the lunchroom and invited themselves to sit with him. The boy had his head buried in his lunch and phone and with intimidation wouldn’t give the football players much attention. The group tried to make small talk – the only things they knew to have conversation about – football, school, and even the weather. Their small talk didn’t get far until, finally, noticing that the boy would not remove his gaze from his phone, one of the football players asked him if he played Clash Royale. The boy’s head suddenly popped up, his countenance changed, a smile broke out across his face and he exclaimed, “Yes!” And with that all the boys pulled out their phones and began a new friendship based on something they all had in common.

As Jeb was telling his mom and I the story that evening, we couldn’t help but have a proud parent moment. We asked what prompted him to ask his new friend if he played Clash Royale. His response was he could just tell by the way he was playing with his phone that was something they might have in common.

It was a great lesson for Jeb, his mom and I and for all of us – the secret to new relationships is to find common ground. The foundation for all healthy relationships is to find common ground. It doesn’t matter if our interest is in sports or academics – we can find common ground. It doesn’t matter if our skin is white or black – we can find common ground. It doesn’t matter if we vote red or blue – we can find common ground. It doesn’t matter if the family feud is new or as old as the family – we can find common ground.

Where do you need to find common ground today? If it can be found in a middle school cafeteria, certainly we can find it anywhere.